Another year begins ... although it started 13 days ago, I had not really made aware of the different things that have changed, and those that remain the same. When you write this blog for several months, had begun a new phase of my life, or at least I thought.
The I moved to another city for several reasons, two main ... one of them, study the degree of Fine Arts, and the other a personal reason, which for now does not want to share, and ironically, became the main reason for the other series of misfortunes were raised.
reap what you sow, they say, but who was I to know what was planted when I did it my eyes closed, for more than two years had been blinded, deep in my fears, seeing what was really going on around me, becoming darker and sinking into a pit that seemed endless, and I it deepened.
Fear becomes a great motivator to do things you thought impossible it may seem to be motivated by fear leads to progress ... and it may be well in very rare cases, however, is more common that the result is negative, because the fear is already bad enough in itself to also move by left é l. Mala was the time that I succumbed to that fear, it collapsed within months all that was built through hard work, discipline and consistency for over 5 years .. but of course, for me it was worth it, as it was for something very valuable ... unfortunately I chose the wrong phone to go on, and ironically, in my effort to prevent this terrible fear become a reality ... acted in the worst way, in a manner so desperate that fear ended up becoming a cruel reality, a reality that I was responsible for creating.
Time heals everything? I'm really not in favor of this notion, it is oneself who is responsible for healing, as long as they do the right thing to do, takes time, yes ... and unfortunately it is easier to build than destroy.
was so after months of suffering self-inflicted (estúpidamente. ..), I reached a point where I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel was only darkness, and for the first time I felt lonely, lonely despite having people around me (people I hurt by my behavior.) But ... pain is somewhat positive, the pain is a reflection of something that went wrong, pain and mistakes, is something that has great value to be captured. Pain is a feeling I really cherish.
not misunderstand ... I'm not a masochist, but use whatever you learn a lot through the pain, that through this .. learn from the pain, treasure, be next to it, understand it, is the only way to get rid of him.
So, after months far more terrible in my life (repeat and clarify, so far ...) I've learned a lot more and even more valuable, that in the years after 2001 (year in which radically changed my way of seeing things, for reasons that explain in another space), I can see things a little clearer, but of course, the wounds are still there, with pain and tears penetrating the depths of my being, as intangible trace of what happened, and that in due time, I will manage to heal.
This time, with a new year running, and on this day (coincidentally 13 ... funny because something important came up with a day 13 two years ago. ..), I decided it's time to move on, and go back to listen to myself, as usual. I de seguir mi camino, pero consciente no sólo del aquí y el ahora, sinó también consciente de lo que ha pasado, aprendiendo de ello, pero sin dejar que eso sea un lastre para mí, sino al contrario, un trampolín para llegar a mi siguiente meta.
Tras muchos obstaculos en mi camino, esta vez puedo contestarle esa pregunta al destino
"realmente deseas seguir adelante, realmente deseas hacerlo"
La respuesta es ya sin titubeos, "Si, deseo hacerlo!"
-Copia de la entrada publicada en http://darkrazvan.blogspot.com/ -
-Copia de la entrada publicada en http://darkrazvan.blogspot.com/ -
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